No You Cannot Have My Phone Number: Boyfriends Don’t Cheat

“I’m sorry I just had to switch chairs because the person behind me had this major coughing issue and it just kind of grossed me out,” I said as I took the seat next to her.  It was getting kind of crowded on the train.  Before it got too crowded I decided to switch seats, in hopes that I wouldn’t be stuck standing or sitting in front of sir sneezes-a-lot.

“It’s okay, that’s really gross,” she said.  I looked down at the book she was reading, the title American Mind.  Between her index and middle finger she held a pencil in her left hand.

“So do you usually read with a pencil?”  I asked her.

“Oh no, this is for school,” she said humbly.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, if you read with a pencil it’s totally fine.  I won’t judge you or anything,” I said in polite sarcasm.  She laughed.

She goes to Berkeley.  One of the most prestigious Universities in California, if not the world’s.  She studies anthropology, had two rings on her left finger, and had skinny forearms.  Her glasses were Dolce Gabbana and the color of her hair was dyed a shining rusty autumn red shade.  We talked about how she got into the major, and how she originally was a journalism major.  I asked her if she was in the archaeological category of anthropology.  Then I told her about how my friend went to school for archeology but then decided to drop out one semester away from completion because he didn’t want anything to do with an archeology degree.  I talked fast.  She laughed.  She listened.  I kept my distance.

I asked her if she could watch my things for a quick second so I could check the subway map as to see where I should get off.  “Where you heading to?” she asked me as I came back to take my seat.

I swallowed politely and gently told her, “I’m heading to my girlfriend’s house.”

I could see the thoughtful ease in her eyes dwindle away.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

A few weeks ago I was talking to my girlfriend about how some guy asked her for her number and her friend’s number to hang out.   She told me that he asked for her number simply to hang out and play tennis.  Being a cereal flirt at one point in my life, I understood this process.  The need to build that comfort and cement that bond that seemed so effortless.  Not to be pushing things forward, however, letting them be guided gently towards your favor.  Then just letting things happen.  I knew the rules.  I wasn’t stupid.  Men will take whatever they want from the women they want something from.  Whether it be marriage, or just one night.  When us men, see an opening, we’ll take it.  This is what I told my girlfriend.  I knew this, because I already lived through it.

As I sat down next to my new subway friend.  My stop came closer and it seemed like time had just flew by.  I was wondering if I should ask her for her phone number.  Maybe we could hang out?  Maybe I’d invite her to hang out with my friends?  Maybe she’d read my blog, because getting one new reader is always that exciting.  These were all stupid reasons.  I truth was that I didn’t need her number; I didn’t need it for anything.  Sometimes in life we like to replicate enjoyable moments; that’s why friends hang out together more than once, and the reason why people find themselves in relationships.  I already had enough friends.  I already had a girlfriend.  Finding excuses to get this girl’s number was simply about finding excuses.

A few minutes before the train stopped at my stop, I said my goodbyes and she told me about how much she enjoyed talking to me.  I replied likewise.  As I waited for the train doors to open, I could see her looking vicariously in my direction.  I stared at her deeply with a mugging shifty eye stare.  She smiled. My life wasn’t built around women and the way to flirt with them.  I was built around my natural immaturity and my practical enjoyment of my own insecurities.  Life itself, just came naturally.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

I waited at the nearest bus stop closest from the train station for my girlfriend.  She arrived on bike with her usual cheeky grin.  I hadn’t seen her for almost 2 weeks.  We kissed a dozen times in front of the view of ongoing traffic.  I told her about the girl I sat next to on the train and my amazing feat of my awesome boyfriend’liness.

“But she could’ve been your soul mate?” she said to me sarcastically.
“You’re a dork,” I said before kissing her.
“And you’re beautiful, and perfect,” I said kissing her.

“And, oh so amazing!!!” I said immaturely exuberant, right before she told me to stop.

Read last literary piece here:  Wrapped Around a Park Bench

26 responses to “No You Cannot Have My Phone Number: Boyfriends Don’t Cheat

  1. Pingback: That Girl at the Party (Part 1) | The Titan Project

  2. Ramblings of a Singleton

    “Being a cereal flirt” … you were into breakfasts?! Lol!

  3. I was into women, but yeah, I love my Captain Crunch!


  4. With all due respect, some boyfriends do cheat.

    They’re the ones with no conscience or respect for their girlfriends.

    They’re also usually not boyfriends for very long.

    Props to you for being a legitimately good person.

    • Yeah, the title was supposed to conspire my perspective and my choices that I needed to fulfill as a good boyfriend. But yes, in the real world of reality boyfriends do cheat sometimes, and they’re very terrible people.

      • There’s also the argument to be made about the type of guy who earns the title of boyfriend versus the type of guy who bides his time with one girl until a new, shiny one comes along.

      • @ohemgillie

        That argument is for another post. It’s about the man or women dependent on other people so they choose to transfer from relationship to relationship

  5. Nicely done. Sometimes moments are just moments – not meant to go anywhere, but just to be. It sounds like you had one of those.

  6. eh, remind me to never ask for a phone number from you :))))

  7. Okay, so usually guy blogs don’t interest me… however I’m interested in yours.
    Thats not flirting, I promise.

  8. I think there is nothing wrong with a little friendly flirting, so long as that’s all it is: friendly flirting.

    It’s frustrating on the end of being a girl however, knowing how many guys cannot acknowledge this. They have this idea that it’s okay to go further, that they HAVE to.

    It’s nice to know some guys can acknowledge those moments for what they are though. 🙂

    • Yeah, however, since those moments were awesome, it sucks that there won’t be a part two to them. Especially when there’s only so many people in the world that you c0uld truly connect with. I’m not talking about one of those, appreciative, seems like a nice person, connection. I’m talking about brutally tasty connections. And there’s only so many of those that you get during your lifetime.

  9. c’est tres vrai.

    We like to replicate these moments.
    Though, I have learned through years and years of travel and being on my own, people simply like to talk about themselves. And if you show interest in them, the positive kind, they feel less invisible, and are apt to want to tell you more.

    To be delighted in is a feminine desire we forget all too often.

  10. I have a hard time getting behind the sweeping generalizations about men’s view on women. Sure there are many men who see things that way and are hyper aggressive, inappropriately assertive but it strikes me as closed minded to assert all men are as such.
    Imagine the response if you had written “She laughed demurely. All women are demure when a man of my excellence exists in their presence. Women enjoy being demure.”

    • Dammit dude, I had to look up what “demure” means. Something about being modest.

      I didn’t want to write a broad generalization about women, I wanted to write something so that men could get off their ass and stop crying about how they can’t find a girlfriend.

      • By doing so, men can finally find out what works through trial and error, whether or not to seem more compulsive or more passive. You can’t find a balance, if you don’t have anything real to balance anything with.

  11. It’s good that you recognize that engaging in a conversation with flirtatious undertones (which is what that conversation read like to me) that goes nowhere doesn’t make you a bad significant other.

    I used to date someone who thought that any conversation with anyone with any sort of undertones was cheating. I was absolutely miserable. A guy couldn’t even hold a door open for me without me hearing about it for hours.

    I think it’s awesome that you and your girlfriend can so easily talk and laugh about the random times that these sorts of encounters. That’s lovely.

    • I think there are a lot of shallow guys and moreso, that there are a lot of insecure men out there. Charm is found in everything, by being able to have a social life and making people smile doesn’t make us bad people, it makes us likable. And because of that, others are jealous. Misery loves company.

  12. *that you have these sorts of encounters.


  13. Something about the way you strung together your story made me want to keep reading, even though I decided from the title that you weren’t given this girl your number. What you said about guys wanting to get as much as they can, though? Every little inch you can get sort of thing. That’s unfortunately true and I really needed this post today. So thank you.

    • Thanks for your kind words Kaleigh. It’s unfortunate how men have become gluttons to women and aren’t able to control their hunger. As a man, it’s almost impossible to be desensitized to the beauty of women. It sucks, but I love my girlfriend, and she’s the best thing in my life right now.

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