Do You Want to Have Sex With Every Girl You’ve Ever Wanted? (with no attachments)

I dated a lot for the past 2 years. A lot. I really don’t want to go into detail. The boring, okay, somewhat exciting truth is that the whole time, I spent it looking for a girlfriend. I was looking for the right girl. A girl that didn’t leave me and a girl that I didn’t want to leave.

Having sex with multiple women seems cool if you’re a college idiot with hopes that your whole life could play out like some teenage American Pie sexual comedy. But it’s not. It’s really just stupid. It’s not real. It’s like collecting shiny rocks that aren’t worth anything.

For example: There’s no diamonds or rubies. You end up classifying every girl like every other rock you see in every other person’s front yard. There’s so many of them. You see them every day. Maybe this rock looks pointier, maybe this blonde has a skinnier face or a tighter butt. But they’re objects. You leave before you could get to know anything. There’s no emotion. It’s just a surface world where nothing’s real.

For some reason, a lot of people hate the idea of being vulnerable. It’s always power this, wanting that, paying the cheapest price to get to where you want. Those people make horrible novels. Terrible biographies. They go to China, Brazil, Italy, in search for destiny and they experience nothing. They go chasing after things because that’s all they know. They never know when to just stay. When to be happy. Or they somehow discover some obscure happiness after years of searching. However, they could’ve been happy this whole time just if they let themselves be happy.  Everything’s possible where you are!

Every girl that I was intimate with in my past I push back in my memory. And I’m pretty sure a lot of the women who broke me push me to the back of their minds too. However, the girl that you choose that wants to stay in bed for the next few months with you, grows with you, challenges you, makes you understand that you just don’t know everything.

Single and Awesome. It’s more like single and lost, looking for the next flavor, the next number, and the next shiny stone that would probably be worth a lot more to you if you just stopped looking for every other rock.

That’s my two cents. Do what makes you happy. . .

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34 responses to “Do You Want to Have Sex With Every Girl You’ve Ever Wanted? (with no attachments)

  1. Aw, I was really rooting for you to say you’d found that girl at the end. 😦

  2. I guess we all have our shiny rocks, but they’re not always people. I do agree that a lot of people go through life and accumulate a lot of filler that will never make them happy, though.

    • I do need some filler in my life. I always seem to do this, disagree with myself in my comments below the posts. But filler is great. Filler is that space you need to think that’s further than the parking lot outside your house.

      Filler is important. It puts in positions where we could find trouble and induce ourselves to failure. And that’s important.

      “It’s not like you learn anything from being successful.”

      • Filler isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The things we take on by choice, like the things we study and do for fun can be called filler. Those are good things, they make us the well-rounded individuals we should strive to be.

        I interpreted your original usage as the unsubstantive, unsatisfying things, like meaningless affairs and constant thrill-seeking with no real goal. That’s not to say we can’t learn from that kind of filler as well, it’s just one of those inherently imprecise words.

      • Yeah, fillers are fun.

        If we constantly believe everything fits into a goal and everything is work, and everything will get us closer to our destiny, then we’ll get burnt out. Everyone needs to have fun. Sex is fun! Everyone, age appropriate, should have sex.

  3. You gotta stay true to yourself and don’t be afraid of being vulnerable and opening up.

  4. Insightful post!

  5. I wonder if anyone catches the subliminal message in the picture

  6. The truth is you’re completely accurate in saying those people make horrible stories. They live a life of disconnected events that amount to less than anything that could constitute as meaningful, because the meaning has nothing to do with all the outside things, but who and what you become because of those outside things. And the growth is a choice, you can’t learn if you don’t want to; and try to.

    I loved this, so much.

    • Yep. There’s a good chance people fail at everything they attempt. But, really now, who cares? As long as you don’t die, you’ll have something to write about in the future.

  7. There are misplaced diamonds in every rock pile, in my experience. But the digging that has to be done to find them just isn’t worth it sometimes… Glad you found your shiny rock :).

    • really liz? that’s an ouchy statement.

      You only find the rubies when you dig into a person and create an emotional bond. If not, if you choose not to dig, you just have an amazing rock collection but nothing really that memorable.

      • I don’t necessarily agree with that. Some rocks are just rocks. No hidden ruby. There has to be some shiny showing through to WANT to dig deeper and make that emotional connection. At least that’s how it is for me. To each their own.

      • agreed. but you have to find the shiny coming through. Which also means you have to “listen” to whatever that person is saying when they’re talking.

  8. Cool post! I never could get into the shallow dating game, even though I got into PUA literature and brainwashed myself into thinking it was the way to go. I just *can’t* manage to be with a girl, or any friend for that matter, without a deep connection. If it stays on the superficial level I get bored veeery quickly.

    Andrew

    • Thanks for the reply Andrew. I’ve been hearing a lot about this PUA stuff. I honestly want to write a relationship blog because I’m at that point in my life. I would’ve been open to writing about my dating adventures over the past 2 years, but I gotta be honest, it was a very suffocating emotionally, mentally, and physically demanding period of my life. It’s really weird, because as of late it’s been hopeless to find any good relationship blogs written by men. It’s almost impossible.

      Thanks for dropping by, we should definitely keep in touch.

  9. I sure wish that I had realized this a few years ago. Just because screwing around seemed like a fun idea doesn’t mean it actually was.

    Well said.

  10. oh boy, this strikes a chord for all us college kids.

  11. I realize this may be weird coming from a girl, but I totally agree with you. Although it seems all rock star-ish to not have attachments, in truth, it can be very lonely and pretty confusing (reading into every text message, every glance). The weirdest part about meeting my husband was that I stopped noticing the other “rocks” just one day… they didn’t exist. So we got married. haha. Good luck finding the right girl, you seem to have your head in the right place for one.

  12. This article actually raises an interesting tangential issue for me that I think is worth discussing. It may not seem relevant at first but it is.

    I’ve realized that we confuse each other with semantics in the “dating game.”

    I think that “dating” and “sleeping around” are two very different things. “Sleeping around” is not the best thing for the health, but “dating” – as in, getting to know a lot of girls on a romantic basis – is actually super healthy and I don’t think we do it much anymore.

    Most of the relationships I can think of (my friends’ and mine) progress like so: acquaintances –> fuck buddies –> relationship. We rely on current social groups to introduce us to potential mates. We come to believe that it’s hard to meet people otherwise. This can lead to an immature competitiveness over the women we meet.

    The thing is, having sex with acquaintances is actually really great. We already know something about each other. We’ve seen each other in enough social situations to be intrigued. By the time we have sex, it’s not all that awkward. It feels natural.

    Dating is a different situation. Dating, to me, is when you meet girls at large parties or in public places (I include dating sites as public places. They really are in this decade) and then meet up with them later. You go on a few dates and get to see them in a few different environments and get to know them. This used to be common. It’s not as much anymore. It’s way more awkward than having sex with friends. But it’s healthy, too. It forces you to be more in touch with the kind of first impression you make, and it makes you more confident in your ability to meet new women.

    I feel like, these days, many people only flirt with strangers of the opposite sex before one-night stands. But dating is good, too.

    • I mean I’m all for sex. Casual sex is good, and so is relationship sex. I’m not against casual sex, I’m not all for celibacy, and I’m not saying you should only have sex with the certain people that you fall in love with and in some narrow possibility have them equally fall in love with you.

      Sex is great! If people didn’t like sex we wouldn’t be having it so often. For me, I just like knowing my days are connected. I like knowing that I have someone to be with tomorrow, and that she’s not having sex with anyone else but me. People who have sex with people they barely know, or people who have sex with their friends, that’s fine. As long as their mature about it and don’t let one night of hot sweaty yum yum ruin their lives.

      I hate it when people get in a relationship just for the sex, that’s like lying to people. I dislike it when guys treat women like objects, not like friends, not like humans, a simple matter of time until they reach destination, bedroom.

      That’s what annoys me.

  13. “They go chasing after things because that’s all they know. They never know when to just stay. When to be happy. Or they somehow discover some obscure happiness after years of searching. However, they could’ve been happy this whole time just if they let themselves be happy. Everything’s possible where you are!”

    I never understood why people went to travel ( or said they needed to) to these various places to find happiness, or themselves, or what they are looking for. If you can’t find anything where you are then there is an issue? How can traveling to some foreign land help you? It’s like a Siddhartha complex.

    I don’t think it works. A life is waiting for you where you are. And if you are unhappy there are 1) small things you can try to change 2) you just won’t be happy for a little while ( or a long while) or 3) life is life. But if you go look for something you are forcing yourself, possibly, to find something that you will one day realize does not change anything.

    Besides you come back and leave it where you found it. I don’t think you become enlightened.

    Look for inspiration around you, where you are, in your life now.

    Peace and Love,
    D

    • I mean there’s a few reasons people travel.

      1. To see the world.

      2. To get as far away from their parents as possible.

      Finding happiness just isn’t the reason as to why someone should travel.

  14. I like it. Very insightful.

  15. Love the foggy picture and love this blog 🙂
    You will keep me company this morning for a while in a snowy London, thaaaaaaaanx!

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