Category Archives: Relationship Lessons

How Long Will You Stay?

When I was younger I always wanted to become a pilot.

Being a pilot just seemed like something I was destined to do.  My family supported me, everyone I knew thought I should do it.  I worked at an airport, spoke to pilots, took classes at the community college, planned on joining the United States Air Force, applied to flight schools all over America.  I was actually going to move to Florida where I would pursue my life’s intention of becoming a metal bird.

No matter how many great things surrounded the idea of flying a plane, one thing always held me back, “How long will I be away from my family?”

I didn’t have a family of my own.  I didn’t live on my own.  Sure, I had loved ones, but that wasn’t the family I was talking about.  I was talking about the anticipated love of a wife, several children, with a girl being the oldest, a backyard, maybe on a ranch, with a house painted white with decorative green details.  There was a time when that was my dream, my aspirations, my, “maybe someday.”

As the years went past, my dreams of becoming a pilot along with my dreams of having a family dissipated as I matured.  Maybe I started living in the present, I really don’t know.  It’s almost impossible to remember how I pictured how everything would be back in my more naive days.

I never took up piloting, even with knowing how adventurous it sounded.

I seemed to always be the type of person who’d wonder how long he could stay instead of where he could go next.

How Long Will You Stay?

I enjoy reading a lot of blogs that talk about location independence.  How certain people all over the blogosphere can just get up and go as they please.  For some people it’s not just a weekend vacation, taking pictures and standing in front of statues and buildings.  For some, it’s a bulk four months out of their lives learning culture, eating food, and wording foreign phrases.  The idea that you can’t do London in a week.  How long then?  How long does it take to get the full experience of where you are?  Is it really four months?  What constitutes when you should leave?  By the end of four months, is it really possible to just cut off all ties and just leave.  No looking back.

I understand that I won’t get to see the rest of the world if I stay in one place, but what if maybe I could just wait until the place where I am becomes barren.  I kind of want to wait until I truly have a reason to leave.  I just really don’t see the point in leaving to go somewhere new, if I still really like where I am.

Lenka and I broke up.

Advertisements

Do You Intend To Fall In Love With Every Woman

I could feel her heart beating, her eyes wrecked on exploring what might be.  I could feel myself subconsciously reaching for my phone, but didn’t.  I simply returned her gesture with a simple grin and started walking away.  With every step I felt the immense feeling of loss, roping me back to her just for one more bite.  But I couldn’t.

I’ve done this a hundred times, led someone on and left abruptly.  I do it all the time, sometimes uncontrollably, sometimes with very inappropriate intentions.  At some point I made an effort to not retrieve any woman’s contact information, no matter how big, bright, and beautiful the outlook for the future might’ve been.  It felt like throwing away the perfect sunset without taking a picture.  This was before Lenka.

I was training myself to be in control of my feelings.  It’s like self inflicting pain to learn that it won’t kill you.  I couldn’t have every woman.  I didn’t intend to fall in love with everyone, yet I was slowly realizing that I was.  Every number, every call, and every text message, turned into a fantasy display of anticipated future fireworks and long waltzes across days of could be would be love.  With every pink lipped, tiny outlined cheeked, woman, I found that my intentions were unrealistic.  I was setting myself up for failure, more importantly, my unhappiness.  It was sad.

Intention

When I was younger I ran cross country.  During my first year of running all I wanted to do was be the fastest freshmen, which meant I had to beat one person, Sheldon.  I went to lengths, most impossible feats, and at the end of the first race, I was ahead of him all the way to the end.  But I didn’t stop there, I wanted more.

I picked out members of my team, picked out people from other schools.  I was on a murderous rampage to be more capable than any one of my targets.  I was faster than anyone from the school next to us.  The next school next to that one took me awhile, but after a year, I topped everyone who was in my league.  I did this over and over again, and I was never satisfied.

My coaches would ask me, why do I run?  Why was I on the team?  What drove me?

I would answer:

“There’s no better feeling than knowing that I’m better than someone else.”
“I want to be the best.”
“It’s pride.”

The thoughts of inadequacy fueled my desire to train harder, to get up at 5am to run 9 more miles before school started, in addition to our regularly scheduled practices.  My thoughts of not being good enough became my perseverance.

My coaches and teammates told me I was running for all the wrong reasons.  That someday there won’t be people to beat, someday I’ll find myself defeated, someday I’ll grow old and start withering away and my hopes of beating my PR would peak, and I would plummet.  They told me, the only way to truly love something is to love every moment of it no matter what it curtails.

Why did they do it?

“Because I seriously love to run.”

. . . they would say.

If You Don’t Love Every Moment, You’re Just Lying To Yourself

I was never trying to impress my friends when I took down a woman’s number.  Their abilities to meet women weren’t exactly up to par.

I was never rating women on a scale of one to ten, measuring whether or not someone were to be deserving of me, as if I was the grand prize of some elimi-date.

However, my real intentions was to fall in love.  That maybe someday we could lay in bed for hours on end with no other intentions other than to be together forever on clouds of happily ever after.  That’s where I went wrong, that’s where I became needy.  And because of that, I was setting myself up to become more and more miserable.

A conversation with a stranger is just that, a conversation.  There shouldn’t be anticipation for wedding bells (here’s looking at my female viewers) or sex (men) but just the simple love for having a conversation filled with laughter and comfort.  If ever we find out that something just didn’t go in the direction in which we were hoping, we should never feel as if we’ve lost our future, but simply feel that we’ve gained the moment. As humans we tend to fantasize about the future becoming this mesmerizing unbelievable picture of happiness, and it’s unfortunate that every time we do that and lose that, we become devastated.  That’s unrealistic and unfair.

Don’t let the future scare you, keep trying.

Don’t skip off to the future just yet, right now is still waiting patiently for you to come back down.

9 Reasons Why You Should Meet The Girl Next To You

I still remember my girlfriend’s face when I told her she was adorable and I just had to come talk to her. Her face froze in a tone broken in between a lost for words and hope that words would exude. I remember how her head cocked out from her shoulders and how her breath was left vacant. She liked me. We meet people everyday, but we never meet them. The continuous stream of applicable opportunity to learn someone’s name or find out more about their story usually goes untouched, like books lost in libraries, unread and unopened. How is that possible? Everyone likes talking about themselves. Mostly everyone likes the faint touch of being interested in. Why? Why is it so hard? We meet people everyday, but there’s no reason why we shouldn’t get to know them, especially if she could be the girl of your dreams, much like Lenka’s was and still is for me.

Below is a list of 9 Reasons Why You Should Meet The Girl Next to You.

1. All girls like being talked to.

Remember in 40 year old virgin where Seth Rogen tells Steve Carrell to constantly ask the girl questions because women don’t want to talk about anything else but themselves. It’s funny because it’s almost always true. Actually it’s true for everyone. Everyone wants to believe that they have the most unbelievable dreams and aspirations. Everyone wants to think they have the cutest baby. Everyone wants to feel acclaimed and worshiped for their unrivaled thoughts and problem solving abilities. There’s an inspiring feeling people get when they get to share their lives with other people.

2. All girls want to feel sexy.

When I was still in middle school I remember Michelle Branch posing for Maxim magazine practically naked. Michelle Branch! The female guitarist who sang “All You Wanted.” At that time I felt there was something wrong with society, and it wasn’t just puberty. At that time, Christina Auguillera had the hit single “I am Beautiful” and, at the same time, had one of the sluttiest music videos of all time. I was debating the idea of beautiful. I remember what my brother said that evening when I pointed out the cover of Maxim with Michelle Branch on it. He told me, “Every woman wants to be wanted by every guy.” He said that they don’t necessarily want to date every man in the world, but they just want every guy to look twice when she walks by.

3. All girls want to feel beautiful.

There’s a difference between sexy and beautiful, not that a simple compliment can’t appease both of them. Unfortunately, every girl does want to feel adorned with their clothes on. They want to take pictures in Sunday dresses, twirling in flowered meadows, while the sunlight scatters across a silhouette of trees. They want to feel that their laughter is not only adored, but melodic, like a siren or some pre Civil War church choir. Every girl wants to know that they could hold someone’s attention for so long that they could find themselves falling apart in each others eyes. Most girls will never choose logic over romance.

4. Every girl wants to feel challenged.

Girls aren’t picking out men from a catalog, well, unless they’re giving credit to online dating websites, they are. However, unless they’re absolute nuts, women don’t want to have to meet a guy online over meeting them out in the open where fairy tales and most romantic movies find their beginnings. Some women can have any pick of men off the street, but that would just be cheap and senseless. Women want to feel like keeping someone is worth holding on to. They can’t just pull a guy off the street, because there’s no worth in that.

5. Every girl wants a hug.

Yep they do.  Women like a genuine sense of belonging where they could feel secure and comfortable. Everyone wants to feel wanted. Human touch is yummy.

6. Women don’t want the right guy.

Really? Seriously? WHO IS THAT GUY??? Robert Pattinson isn’t the right guy. Back in the 90’s it wasn’t Brad Pitt. A woman worth falling in love with doesn’t have a checkoff list hanging behind her pillow in hopes that the right guy will just pass her by on the street and be nothing but perfection yielding in agreement. They want a guy they could build something with. Someone who they could find more about themselves through. Love will always be about falling in love with what makes them different and imperfect.

7. Every girl wants to get naked. . . with the right guy.

Yep. Sex is good. It’s great. It’s fucking orgasmic. The only people that hate sex are virgins and people who are doing it with the wrong people. It’s unfortunate that there’s a broad saturation of creepy, horney, self centered men, and women, more often than not, feel like these are the only men out there. (Btw, I’m perfect.) If a girl’s reading this, don’t have sex with a creepy guy just to see where it goes, it’ll be a terrible experience.

8. Every girl doesn’t want to end up alone.

Even the biggest emo rebels who announce how much they are stricken to a loner lifestyle, those people still don’t want to be alone. They want to have coffee with some guy, to tell them the different aspects of the world that annoy and aggravate them, all subliminally trying to fight off the fact that they’re having coffee with a man and, in more or less endearing terms, like it.

Most women have been dreaming of the day they would marry, not the guy of their dreams, but the guy they can’t let go of.

9. Every girl likes the gesture.

Married, old, well not prepubescent because that’s just weird, but other than that, every girl likes to know the random guy walking on the street found her aesthetically pleasing. Making a woman smile is an incredible feeling.

A little disclaimer before I close this post.

Note: No girl wants to be creeped out.

Being able to not creep out a girl has a lot to do with finding a balance between being too aggressive and too shy. There’s a bunch of complex ways a man can open up a conversation with a women, you shouldn’t buy her a drink until she’s talking to you or else she’ll just use you for alcohol, you might want to compliment her nose, or you might just want to tell a girl you’ve genuinely been staring at for the past hour that she’s absolutely adorable. Who knows, maybe she’ll kiss you, and maybe you’ll find yourself falling love with her.

The Popular Kid Was Never That Good at Talking to Women

“Have you ever bought something because someone told you that you should?”

Ever bought a book that Oprah recommended?  Went to a restaurant because it had high ratings on Yelp?  Or even bought something from a different less convenient grocery store simply because you found a sales coupon, or a online “groupon” to use?  This method of choosing things, is a lot like how most popular kids in high school ended up dating a lot more than everyone else. Ever since anyone could remember, everyone who knew anyone always wanted to date the popular guy; the jock, the athletically talented, the guy that everyone else knows and bows down to.  It’s been a worldwide phenomenon, especially in America.  America has wrapped it’s television viewers over the wants to date the prom queen, the hopes to date the captain of a rugged sport, or the youngest richest spoiled kid at school.  With titles like High School Musical, She’s All That, Gossip Girl, CW’s new series HellCats, 90210, Glee; it’s always been the cool, in thing to do, to fall mercilessly in love with someone popular.

The truth is, everyone who is popular ends up pathetic.  Not only that; everyone who wants or ends up dating them, are shallow.  Of course, there’s a narrow obvious disclaimer that there are almost some exceptions.  But, for the most part, it’s pretty much true.  Why would you buy a book from Oprah, what gives her the right to blindside you with her recommended merchandise?  Does Oprah know you? Has Oprah built a profile of attributes that she can compile to provide any effective description of you?  What makes Oprah so important that she should be your, your signature, your personal, life adviser?

The problem is not Oprah, Oprah is one person who likes things and tells people about those things.  She’s not the problem.  The problem is in the people who’ve consistently watched the show, they’ve let themselves become mindless drones set on finding direction.  A loss of direction and the tragedy that anyone would follow the very first person who can give them that direction, is none other than the equation for someone who is shallow.  Oprah is the prom queen.  She’s the mother bee.  And today, the modern day adult who buys her merchandise simply because it has an Oprah sticker on it, are the exact replica of the millions of kids who’ve long awaited and dreamed of the almost impossible day that they would hold hands with the quarterback of the football team.

Shallow people are worthless. Their plagiarized opinions, which ideally have originated down from the appealing thoughts of others, have practically nothing unique to say.  They’re a plague, an actual defined zombie experience.  And popular kids, unfortunately they’re no better.  If you’ve seen the television shows, the movies, the media, you’ll understand that these popular kids have to follow a certain way of life simply to appease everyone’s image of them and sustain their popularity.  No matter how much a popular kid loves modern contemporary dance, he or she can’t try it.  They can’t attempt it.  It’s too weird. You’ll see this a lot in Glee, jock wants everyone to think glee club is cool, it’s obviously not, so he ends up getting flack for it.  In this way, shallow people control the popular kids at school.  If for some reason the shallow kids lose interest, the popular kids fall off the map.

So who comes out on top?  The more important question, after high school: who ends up being the most socially effective person?  We’ve concluded that it wasn’t the many shallow people who’ve spent most of their teenage years worshiping a false idol.  And in some way, we can come to our own, personal, unique, and inventive, conclusions as to what happened to most popular kids from high school, who didn’t have football scholarships or something of the same significance.  Who then?  If both these parties have been lost in defeat, what person coming out of high school would be the most socially acceptable after graduation?  There are nerds that learn to become socially acceptable, it’s true.  There are goths that become socially acceptable, and there are people from less popular sports that become socially acceptable.  However, there is one candidate, who logically speaking, would tower over all others when it comes to social ability after high school.

Competition of Egos

Have you ever wonder why none of the big countries go to war with India?  I’m not talking about Imperialism; I’m talking about actual declarations of war.  (Don’t worry; this will tie in to the idea of popular kids and social hierarchy)  In World War 2, why did Germany go to war with most of Europe?  More interestingly, why did Germany ally themselves with Japan, one of the more technologically advanced countries in the universe?  Why didn’t Germany just take over small little countries, why was it bigger countries like France and the UK?  Political science teaches this as the competition of egos.  Germany, Adolf Hitler, they went to war with countries with advanced technology, strong military, supplies, etc.  What would Germany have accomplished going to war with India?  What’s in India?  There’s no military in India, their technology isn’t as advanced, and they don’t have very much to see in supplies.  There wouldn’t be a lot to profit by going to war with a country that doesn’t have these things.

It’s the same with the social structure of popularity.  You don’t see the popular football athletes going to war with the stoners.  Why bother? You don’t see the cheerleaders giving a slight glance at the nerds in the computer lab.  Even the slightly social student body, nobody really cares about them socially.  They do their job, nobody bothers them.  So who would the popular group of kids have to go to war with?  Who clashes with them?  Who irritates them?  Who is so powerful, that that person can steal the thoughts away from popular kids and make a dent in their social beings?  There has to be someone that has those properties.  More importantly, if this person can rise above the popular kids, separate themselves from the shallow kids, and in some way have the same social rapport as popular kids, logically, this person, would make it out of high school as the social pinnacle of an adult social hierarchy.  Who then, has the best chance of that?

. . . enter the anti-hero.


To be continued. . .

Us Men, We Talk Too Much.

Jonathan: You’re a hottie!

Emily: I don’t know about that.

Jonathan: It’s not for you to know.  It’s for us men to talk about secretly forever until you whither away unappreciated. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Do You Want to Have Sex With Every Girl You’ve Ever Wanted? (with no attachments)

I dated a lot for the past 2 years. A lot. I really don’t want to go into detail. The boring, okay, somewhat exciting truth is that the whole time, I spent it looking for a girlfriend. I was looking for the right girl. A girl that didn’t leave me and a girl that I didn’t want to leave.

Having sex with multiple women seems cool if you’re a college idiot with hopes that your whole life could play out like some teenage American Pie sexual comedy. But it’s not. It’s really just stupid. It’s not real. It’s like collecting shiny rocks that aren’t worth anything.

For example: There’s no diamonds or rubies. You end up classifying every girl like every other rock you see in every other person’s front yard. There’s so many of them. You see them every day. Maybe this rock looks pointier, maybe this blonde has a skinnier face or a tighter butt. But they’re objects. You leave before you could get to know anything. There’s no emotion. It’s just a surface world where nothing’s real.

For some reason, a lot of people hate the idea of being vulnerable. It’s always power this, wanting that, paying the cheapest price to get to where you want. Those people make horrible novels. Terrible biographies. They go to China, Brazil, Italy, in search for destiny and they experience nothing. They go chasing after things because that’s all they know. They never know when to just stay. When to be happy. Or they somehow discover some obscure happiness after years of searching. However, they could’ve been happy this whole time just if they let themselves be happy.  Everything’s possible where you are!

Every girl that I was intimate with in my past I push back in my memory. And I’m pretty sure a lot of the women who broke me push me to the back of their minds too. However, the girl that you choose that wants to stay in bed for the next few months with you, grows with you, challenges you, makes you understand that you just don’t know everything.

Single and Awesome. It’s more like single and lost, looking for the next flavor, the next number, and the next shiny stone that would probably be worth a lot more to you if you just stopped looking for every other rock.

That’s my two cents. Do what makes you happy. . .

Advice Column: The Guy All Girls Want

From User:

The following response was to a user on a forum who opened a thread asking for help on his relationship.  He found out that his girlfriend was still in contact with a guy she kissed at a bar that she was attracted to a long time ago.  Overall he felt intimidated by this other man.  He believed this guy was better than him.  He understood that he did have trust issues and that he did feel jealousy.  He wanted to know how he could overcome these issues and become a better person, without having his girlfriend leave him.

From Jonathan Manor:

I’m going to hand the only information that you’ll probably need on the subject.  You need to do two things.

  1. Stop moping. Just stop.
  2. There is no lesson plan, guide, self help book, or advice anyone will ever give you that will make you become a more passionate person. Nothing. Not the way of the superior man, not the power of now, not a 232 page book that tells you why you need direction. It’s all beta material. It’s all confirming the fact that you don’t know anything.

The fact is, you don’t need to know anything. You don’t. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to try hard, life isn’t about trying hard. It’s not. You need experience. And cutting yourself off from the world so you could mope is not experience, it’s stalemate.

People, not just women, people altogether fall in love with the person who has something going on for themselves. Ask yourself, “If you didn’t have a girlfriend, where would you be?”

In fact, right now, you’re acting as if you don’t have a girlfriend. As if she’s already left you. You’re moping, crying, and figured out you’ll stay pathetic (sorry dude it’s the truth) Even if that were true, even if you’re girlfriend did leave you, sooner or later you’re going to have to figure out what you want to do with your life. Are you going to pursue something? Are you going to stand for something? What are you going to do?

You could take the cheap way out which is, when she breaks up with you, jump over to another relationship. You know what that says about you, that you’re cheap. Anyone could have you. You have nothing going for your life, and you have nothing to show except for your dependence on the opposite sex.

Some women do this all the time. They jump from relationship to relationship because they can’t handle being alone. They can’t handle being themselves. So once they get back on the market, they post a for sale sign out in the open, and y’know what, guys will take it. Guys will run after it! Why, because it’s cheap.

You’re a cheap man. You’re dependent on this woman. Anyone will leave you. You have nothing going for you. You’re like the worn down sweater you get at Goodwill that nobody wants, hoping that someone will buy you.

That’s your advice. Do something with your life.

If You Want Her to Fall in Love with You, Compliment her Nose!

In 2006, 220,000 women got some type of surgical procedure for their nose.  The scientific term for a nose job, or a plastic surgical procedure on the nose, is called rhinoplasty.  Plastic surgery is a controversial subject in America.  With celebrities influencing young women, something like Ashley Simpson getting a nose job to retouch her nose gives off the message that, “it’s okay to not think you’re beautiful.”  It’s okay to change things about yourself if you don’t like them. This type of influence encourages women to not love things about themselves and get them to want to change everything about the way they look.  There’s a lot of physical aspects women tend to want to change about their body.  Things such as the perkiness of their breasts, the firmness of their midsection, and the inflammation of their tooshie. A woman’s nose is one of the top aspects on that list of things women want to change about themselves.  It’s unlikely that a woman will spend hours putting on their make up, choosing the right earrings, and putting on the right lipstick, only to say, “Wow, my nose is amazing!” It’s just not practical.  It’s weird to enjoy the feature of your nose especially after media, literature, and basically everyone throughout history has put so much emphasis on women’s eyes, smile, and breasts.

Eyes, lips, hair, stomach, breasts, and legs; all these are usually the main focus of what is beautiful.  There’s a suffocating obsession with makeup, lipstick, hair products, and shapeable bras that gets women into retail stores like Victoria Secret, Mac, and Sephora, to buy item brands like Revlon, Pink, Vidal Sassoon, and Britney’s Spear’s scented perfume, Circus.  These women come home spend hours on their makeup, surgically guide a brush across their nails, and go off to the city immediately before their hair has time to lose its maximum volume.  Then when a strange man you haven’t met approaches you through the corner of your peripheral vision, and he tells you ““You have beautiful eyes!”” as if he was reading some blatant scripture off some obscure Esquire magazine passage; you say to yourself, “”Thanks. . . I know!””

“However, what if he compliments your nose?”

Now you missed something, now didn’t you?  Women spend all their time revamping and decorating delicate intricate Van Gogh like paintings on their eyes, lips, and nails that they forget their nose.  There’s only so much a woman can do about her nose. Maybe implement a slight touch of some fluffy powder or something, however, it just isn’t that flexible.  It is practically the only bare feature specifically centered on a woman’s face which she cannot drastically change the appearance of.  So when a guy comes up and says, “”You have an absolutely beautiful nose!”” You’re baffled.  You become insanely belligerent.  You become intrigued and curious.  And maybe even in some drastic instances you fall apart and cry, because it is the one and only thing that’s still real about you. It’s the one thing you can’t hide.

We fall in love with the people who fall in love with our imperfections.

Our imperfections tend to be the things we can’t change or choose to not change about ourselves.  Our perfections are what everyone loves about us.  The fact that someone can acknowledge that you’re smart, funny, athletic, and down to Earth, doesn’t get you wedding bells and satin silk sheets as you lay her naked body under the night sky peering into her bedroom.  Those are obvious things everyone else notices. Those are the same things every guy tells her about, and practically the same things the rest of the population of men on Earth wishes he could comment about.  It just doesn’t get you far to make an instant observation.  If the world’s sexiest woman fell in love with all the men who noticed the first thing everyone else notices about her, than we’d all be married to that same girl.  (Which as of 2010’s Maxim’s Hottest Woman List states, that girl would be Katy Perry)

However, when you acknowledge the unlikely and more practically irritating and annoying features in a woman’s arsenal of things she recognizes as flaws, then you touch something else.  Something deep.  The way she snorts when she laughs, her sincere sophisticated tone that she uses when she talks down to people, the obvious dark gray mole riding the side of her nose.  These are all imperfections.  They are also her signature. They are the things that make her different from everyone else in the world.  When someone can acknowledge that and enjoy those unlikely features, then that girl you like will know that you can let her be who she really is.

That’s a relevant essential piece to the idea of love.  The fact that you can understand someone for who they are.

 

 

Read last relationship lesson:

The remedy for the too aggressive or too passive man

Facts from: http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/

In 2006, 220,000 women got some type of surgical procedure for their nose.  The scientific term for a nose job, or a plastic surgical procedure on their nose, is called rhinoplasty.  Plastic surgery is a controversial subject in America.  With celebrities influencing young women, something like Ashley Simpson getting a nose job to retouch her nose certainly gives the message that, “it’s okay to not think you’re beautiful.”  It’s okay to change things about yourself if you don’t like them.  This type of influence encourages women to not love things about themselves and want to change everything they look like.  There’s a lot of physical aspects women tend to want to change about their body.  Things such as the perkiness of their breasts, the firmness of their midsection, and the inflammation of their tooshie.  A woman’s nose is one of the top things on that list of things women want to change.  It’s unlikely that a woman will spend hours putting on their make up, choosing the right earrings, and putting on the right lipstick, only to say, “Wow, my nose is amazing!”  It’s just not practical.  It’s weird to enjoy the feature of your nose especially after media, literature, and basically everyone throughout history has put so much emphasis on women’s eyes, smile, and breasts.

Eyes, lips, hair, breasts, abdomen, legs; all these are usually the main focus of what is beautiful.  There’s a suffocating obsession with makeup, lipstick, shampoos, and shapeable bras that gets women into retail stores like Victoria Secret, Mac, and Sephora, to buy item brands like Revlon, Pink, Vidal Sassoon, and Britney’s Spear’s scented perfume, Circus.  These women come home spend hours on their makeup, surgically guide a brush across their nails, and go off to the city immediately before their hair has time to lose its maximum volume.  Then when a strange man you haven’t met approaches you through the corner of your peripheral vision, and he tells you “You have beautiful eyes,” as if he was reading some blatant scripture off some obscure Esquire magazine passage, you say to yourself, “”Thanks. . . I know!””

However, what if he compliments your nose?

Now you missed something, now didn’t you?  Women spend all their time revamping and decorate delicate intricate Van Gogh like paintings on their eyes, lips, and nails that they forget their nose.  There’s only so much a woman can do about her nose. (bold/ italics)    Maybe implement a slight touch of some fluffy powder or something, however, it just isn’t that flexible.  It is practically the only bare feature specifically centered on a woman’s face which she cannot drastically change the appearance of.  So when a guy comes up and says, “”You have an absolutely beautiful nose!””  You’re baffled.  You become insanely belligerent.  You become intrigued and curious.  And maybe even in some drastic instances you fall apart and cry, because it is the one and only thing that’s still real about you.  It’s the one thing you can’t hide.

We fall in love with the people who fall in love with our imperfections.

Our imperfections tend to be the things we can’t change or choose to not change about ourselves.  Our perfections are what everyone(italics) loves about us.  The fact that someone can acknowledge that you’re smart, funny, athletic, and down to Earth, doesn’t get you wedding bells and satin silk sheets as you lay her naked body under the night sky peering into her bedroom.  Those are obvious things everyone else notices. Those are the same things every guy tells her about, and practically the same things the rest of the population of men on Earth wishes he could tell her about.  It just doesn’t get you far to make an instant observation.  If women fell in love with all the men who noticed the first thing everyone else notices about her, than we’d all be married to that same girl.  (Which as of 2010’s Maxim’s Hottest Woman List states, that girl would be Katy Perry)

However, when you acknowledge the unlikely and more practically irritating and annoying features in a woman’s arsenal of things she recognizes as flaws, then you touch something else.  Something deep.  The way she snorts when she laughs, her sincere sophisticated tone that she uses when she talks down to people, the obvious dark gray mole riding the side of her nose.  These are all imperfections.  They are also her signature.  They are the things that make her different from everyone else in the world.  When someone can acknowledge that and enjoy those unlikely features, then that girl you like will know that you can let her be who she really is.

That’s a relevant essential piece to the idea of love.  The fact that you can understand someone for who they are.

Facts from:  http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/rhinoplasty-women-and-nose-jobs-346001.html

The Cure for Assholes and Losers: How Gambling makes Dating Easier

I use to play a lot of Texas Hold’em.  I still consider myself pretty good at it today.  I liked it because poker had a lot to do with life.  There’s a lot about poker that parallels everything that we do.  How to play one of life’s hands.  How and when to make moves.  How to use body language to express certain cues.  Pretty much how to win at the tables all comes down to how smart you play.  There’s a lot of people at the poker tables that are just desperate for money.  They play a hand as if it’s their last hand that they’ll never play another hand in their lives.  These people tend to lose a lot.  They lose a lot because they think like idiots.  They lose because they don’t have control.  A lot of poker has to do with controlling what you want to express; which is also a major attribute when it comes to successfully dating women.

There are two types of people who continuously lose at poker.  The aggressive players and the passive players.  Aggressive players tend to bluff their way through every hand hoping to steal small pots and accumulate chips.  On the other hand, passive players don’t make enough moves and don’t play enough hands to accumulate chips.  The problem with aggressive players is that they bluff so often that it’s not long until one of their opponents catches on and calls them out on one of their plays.  The problem with passive players is that they’re too conscious of their stack to make any plays in the first place. This is much like the two most unsuccessful men when it comes to dating.  You have your men that are too aggressive and you have your men that are too passive.

Aggressive Men and Dating:

Aggressive men are the type of men who feel as if they could do anything without having drawbacks.  These type of men tend to dismiss other people’s feelings and other people’s space.  Ultimately, they tend to repel people.

How to spot an aggressive man:

  • They’re usually loud.  Somehow they feel the need to yell even when there isn’t loud music to yell over, large crowds, and the people he’s conversing with are practically in conversational range.
  • They usually laugh at their own jokes even though no one else is laughing.
  • They talk about sexually driven subjects incessantly, in way that’s too sudden and too often and at most times before a relationship has even been given time to build.
  • They have awful hygiene.  They usually smell of beer and cigarettes or some close combination of unearthly chemicals.  They tend to not shave very often.
  • They tend to have these rapist staring tendencies.

Passive Men and Dating:

Passive men have the issue of taking orders from everyone and being everyone’s bitch (literally.)  They usually feel the need to please everyone.  Since they try to please everyone they’ve inherited the nickname of being a “tool.”  A lot of this doesn’t seem that bad, however, what passive men lack is a sense of passion.  A passion is usually what makes men unique and different from one another.  Since they lack such a powerful attribute when it comes to dating, they tend to blend in with everyone else who’s too afraid to take risks and make a move; leaving them hidden from attracting any type of women.

How to spot a passive man:

  • Most of their movements are small and common.  Their range of actions are minimal.  You almost never see them dance, or they have some type of large protest against dancing.
  • Most passive men altogether stand up straight with their beer close to their stomach in the spot right below their sternum, with their arm at a somewhat 80 degree angle.  This is the common position that most boring frightened men entail.
  • Most passive men have a speech impediment in which they’re not loud enough for anyone to comprehend.  Even in loud crowded places like bars and clubs people usually have to ask them to repeat themselves numerous times.
  • They usually dress a step behind most fashion that’s up do date.  They tend to be equipped with large Vanhuesen polo shirts and jeans labeled baggy instead of relaxed (which is the furthest that men’s jeans should go.)
  • They usually don’t know how to have a good time.

Theories/ Diagnosis:

There’s a lot of reasons why someone would find themselves to be either too aggressive or too passive.  Some aggressive people are stuck in their category because they use to be popular in high school and are use to having people agree with them.  After leaving high school they still keep that mindset that they’re always right in everything that they do.  Another reason why people might find themselves in the aggressive category is because they’ve been exiled or outcasted by people their whole life, either by not fitting in or avoiding people altogether, in which they tend to blame everyone else for their problems, hate the world, and indefinitely divide themselves from caring about anyone else’s feelings.  This leads to anger, isolation, and denial in a sense where they always believe that they’re right.

Passive people on the other hand have been heavily nurtured in a way that they don’t know what it is to break from their nesting.  Not only does this pertain to family but it also pertains to friends.  Passive people tend to follow whatever their friends do.  This leads to them only taking advantage of a limited amount of knowledge usually found within the bubble of their friend’s knowledge.  They end up with an inability to make their own choices and follow their own paths.  This leads to a mediocre and painful life.

The Upside/ Treatment:

The answer to a great social life and dating life is not that anyone shouldn’t be the passive or aggressive person, but that they should be a balance of both.  Going back to the poker analogy, you need to make plays to win the game (aggressive,) and you need to play smart by considering other people’s actions to make sure you don’t lose (passive.)  When it comes to dating, women aren’t going to just give directions for every little thing.  However men can’t just assume the green light is on for everything.  Men have to know when to ask a girl out, when to go in for the kiss, and when is it okay to move further.

If you observe the game of poker, the people who make the moves end up winning more than the people who wait for a good hand to play.  This not only goes for dating, but it also goes for practically everything else.  In fights, the person who wins is usually the person who throws the most punches.  In work, the person who gets the promotion is the person who’s more involved at work than anyone else is.   It’s the same with dating.  A man who waits for a woman to ask him out is pretty pathetic.  In some cases, even the most pathetic men get lucky.

However, luck isn’t something worth bragging about.

 

Read last life lesson here:  How Nickelodeon Taught me to become a better Son

How to make women’s lives miserable: The tragic story of the modern man.

In a world where chivalry is practically dead, where a feminist will not let a man open a door for her, and where more guys are paying for sex and jerking off to porn than ever, there is one man, the average man, the creepy guy who stares at a girl the wrong way from across the room until she leaves feeling awkward.  Who is that guy?  He’s the “needy” guy.

He’s the guy who pops down on one knee and proposes when he feels like his girlfriend is going to leave him.  Why does he do this?  It’s because he knows he’s been a crap boyfriend and he knows that you’re probably the best thing that ever happened to him.  And probably in most occurrences, he wants to continue to treat you like crap.

Tip for women:  Don’t get married before you turn 25.  Even better don’t get married until you’ve started drinking legally.

Us men, we’ve craved sex ever since we could understand ejaculation.  Us men!  Only 5% of us are truly monogamous.  How do I know that?  Because I watched Someone Like You and they just had that fun fact.  (HA!)  By the way, the movie was terrible acting but not so much an awful waste of time as most romantic comedies.

The truth is, most of us don’t know how to talk to women properly and more importantly, modernly.  Most men will never know how to approach a woman at a bar, or on the side of the street.  Some adult men can’t even talk to their coworkers because it’s too much to be in the presence of beautiful women.  And somehow men will always talk about how beautiful women are and give women the most incredible compliments that some women deserve to hear, yearn to hear, but unfortunately those women will never be around those conversations to hear it.

Somehow the average man will never admit that he sucks at talking to women, go on through life thinking that he has all the answers, drops the most panties, and doesn’t come home to his empty apartment with a bottle of Jack Daniels and stale refrigerated food.  Somehow the average man will never go out and ask for advice.  And sometimes, he’ll go out and get that much needed advice.  But however, most of the time the average man will never be paying attention.

The average man isn’t complicated.  Most of us somehow thought we had to stop learning after High School.

The average man is not at all complicated.  He just wants to be happy and lazy at the same time.

-Manor