When I was younger, sometime around high school, I started hugging people. It was more for satire. “You want a hug?” I would say with the most pouty puppy particular eyes. I use to hug everyone. I’d hug people I didn’t know. I’d hug my teachers. I’d ask a lot of people and they would turn me down, but for the most part people would spread their arms and for those two seconds in which my arms could wrap around their torso and then pull away, there was just that little something we all long for.
I was very destructive as a young boy. I wanted to hurt everyone. I wanted to see people fail. I thrived on knowing my life wasn’t as bad as others. But, I was almost always wrong. I started understanding that people just didn’t know pain like I knew pain, and for that reason, I felt valiant. Through imperfection I felt superior and because of that I stopped caring. However, no matter how many times you would ask me how much I don’t care, how much I feel the need to be destructive, there’s still some sweet itty bitty child in me that just wants to remember what it was like to have a family, to have friends, and to be wanted. If that’s true for me, the boy who rested his eyes over his own sad sorry life, and if everyone feels anger, pain, and anguish, then for the most part, I’m pretty sure a lot of people just want to feel like they belong somewhere. I’m pretty sure people want to feel something real.
People want to feel wanted.
We spend so much time being angry at people. We spend so much time trying to be cool. We spend so much time trying to be better than people that some of us just don’t realize that we’re all in pain. Somehow denial wraps around our heads and tells us we’re bigger than this, we can do this on our own, and we don’t need anyone to help us. That may be true. But it’s not going to make you happy. I pushed everyone away my whole life; no one likes being alone.
Hugging, holding hands, cuddling, little tiny kisses on the cheek, it’s all a form of affection that people need. People need affection. Fuck the general population of people who think it’s awkward. Screw the genre of thought behind handshakes and keeping your distance. If a moment’s embrace is ill mannered than someone needs to rewrite the book on etiquette and put “hug everyone” on there. Don’t waste your time being on anti-carebear protest.
The greatest gift is letting someone remember that they are loved.
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