Tag Archives: find-a-girlfriend

“You Want a Hug?”

When I was younger, sometime around high school, I started hugging people.  It was more for satire.  “You want a hug?” I would say with the most pouty puppy particular eyes.  I use to hug everyone.  I’d hug people I didn’t know.  I’d hug my teachers.  I’d ask a lot of people and they would turn me down, but for the most part people would spread their arms and for those two seconds in which my arms could wrap around their torso and then pull away, there was just that little something we all long for.

I was very destructive as a young boy.  I wanted to hurt everyone.  I wanted to see people fail.  I thrived on knowing my life wasn’t as bad as others.  But, I was almost always wrong.  I started understanding that people just didn’t know pain like I knew pain, and for that reason, I felt valiant.  Through imperfection I felt superior and because of that I stopped caring.  However, no matter how many times you would ask me how much I don’t care, how much I feel the need to be destructive, there’s still some sweet itty bitty child in me that just wants to remember what it was like to have a family, to have friends, and to be wanted.  If that’s true for me, the boy who rested his eyes over his own sad sorry life, and if everyone feels anger, pain, and anguish, then for the most part, I’m pretty sure a lot of people just want to feel like they belong somewhere.  I’m pretty sure people want to feel something real.

People want to feel wanted.

We spend so much time being angry at people.  We spend so much time trying to be cool.  We spend so much time trying to be better than people that some of us just don’t realize that we’re all in pain.  Somehow denial wraps around our heads and tells us we’re bigger than this, we can do this on our own, and we don’t need anyone to help us.  That may be true.  But it’s not going to make you happy.  I pushed everyone away my whole life; no one likes being alone.

Hugging, holding hands, cuddling, little tiny kisses on the cheek, it’s all a form of affection that people need.  People need affection.  Fuck the general population of people who think it’s awkward.  Screw the genre of thought behind handshakes and keeping your distance.  If a moment’s embrace is ill mannered than someone needs to rewrite the book on etiquette and put “hug everyone” on there.  Don’t waste your time being on anti-carebear protest.

The greatest gift is letting someone remember that they are loved.

This was my greatest gift post.  Check out these awesome greatest gift posts:


17 Ways to Look Cooler Now!

How can someone look cool? Is it possible? Ever since the beginning of time people have longed to find out what’s so cool about that guy. From cowboys to rock and roll bands. Mozart to Robert Plant. Wolverine to Neo. What makes someone look cool? Below is 17 possible ways to look cooler now!

#1 Wear a V-Neck and, at the same time, pull off looking as if you still like women.

#2 Don’t just wear a leather jacket, wear a hooded sweater under it! It’s genius!

#3 Always extend your eyebrows to look interested but at the same time unexcited about what anyone is talking about.

#4 Move your hands a lot. People can concentrate better on what you’re talking about if you move your hands a lot.

#5 Make sure everyone knows that you play either poker or guitar. Those two things make you look douchey, but without all the doucheness. A good way to do this is to leave a guitar pick or a poker chip in your pocket along with some spare change. In the event that anyone would ask you for a quarter they’ll be surprised and aroused that you have one of the two things. Carry both for an instant orgasm.

#6 Ask people if they want spare change.

#7 Find out your size for jackets, then go one size over. Tight fitting clothes are essential. Tight fitting jackets are borderline fairy. They’re supposed to look heavier than your skin.

#8 Don’t shop at the same places your friends shop. Your friends are terrible with women.

#9 Make your own accessories. Rolex’s make you look like grandpa or a spoiled brat. A string on a piece of wood makes you look creative and adventurous.

#10 Don’t wear the necklace your friend gave you. Wear it as a bracelet. Don’t rep your friend’s fashion advice. Mock it by not wearing it in the way it was meant to be worn. Plus, layered bracelets are cool.

#11 Don’t get a hair cut if you want your hair to look messy; it makes everyone want to punch you in the face repeatedly.

#12 Know your facial and hair products. It makes all the difference when you could find a hair product that can stealthily make you look as if you didn’t even try to take a shower this morning.

#13 If everything else fails and you can’t help but to be ugly, brush your teeth. Nothing overcomes everything than a maintained straight white picket fence.  Keyword:  Straight.

#14 You’re expected to smile when you meet someone.

#15 Practice looking adorable and nurturing. Nobody likes an ogre.

#16 Be the guy who wears that certain article of clothing everyday. Life is like a job interview, it’s easier to remember someone when they’re consistent.

#17 Don’t wear a suit, take a shower, or fix your hair, people will expect too much from you if you try too hard. Have them expect nothing and it’ll only go uphill from there.

Merry Christmas!!!!!

Are You Over Her?

I’ll come back to Part 2 of “The Popular Kid Was Never That Good at Talking to Women,” but I just really wanted to write this while it was still recent.

“Are you over her?” Lenka asked.

6 months before I met my girlfriend, I met a girl named Paige.  It was last winter break, almost a whole year ago.  The thought of her still haunts me.  She broke me.  She broke me in a way that I thought would never be possible.  Every so often I remember what it was like to be with her.  I remember thinking about her, and losing her.

There’s an underlying property to falling in love with someone.  In some way, you can’t be caught up with someone else, even if they have left forever.  They somehow can’t be renting out a soft spot in your mind.  I don’t think that’s true.  I might be wrong.  The thing is, I try to move forward.  I try to move forward with everything in my life.  Just forward, just a clean b-line straight ahead to the next destination as fast and as eye level as possible.  However, the truth is, a lot of the things in my past still gnaw off little bits of my hopes for a future.  It’s not just with women; it’s sort of like this with a lot of the things in my life.

With every woman I’ve met, I tend to keep a piece of them with me whether I like it or not.  It’s a little encasing that just opens up whenever it feels like it, or it’s somehow triggered by specifically chosen items of nostalgia.  The problem that I had was that I always found something I truly liked in most of the women I dated.  I ended up finding something unique in the women who’ve come through my life, and it’s hard to let those things go.  It’s taken me awhile to forget a lot about the first girl I felt an emotional depth with.  But, on some level, to be honest, I kind of wish I hadn’t fully forgotten.

Lenka asked me, how I could fall in love with someone when my heart is somewhere else.  How can I fall in love with her when I’m not over Paige?  How is it possible?  It seems like there’s something absolutely totally wrong with that.

“Why do you love me?” I asked Lenka.

In a cute, sort of embarrassed, type of way, she told me things like how I make her laugh and how I make her happy.  As I listened over the phone, she ended up scrolling down a long list of bullet points as to why she loved me.  I already knew what I was going to tell her by the time she finished.

“If I loved you for all of those same reasons, would you call that love?”

The Popular Kid Was Never That Good at Talking to Women

“Have you ever bought something because someone told you that you should?”

Ever bought a book that Oprah recommended?  Went to a restaurant because it had high ratings on Yelp?  Or even bought something from a different less convenient grocery store simply because you found a sales coupon, or a online “groupon” to use?  This method of choosing things, is a lot like how most popular kids in high school ended up dating a lot more than everyone else. Ever since anyone could remember, everyone who knew anyone always wanted to date the popular guy; the jock, the athletically talented, the guy that everyone else knows and bows down to.  It’s been a worldwide phenomenon, especially in America.  America has wrapped it’s television viewers over the wants to date the prom queen, the hopes to date the captain of a rugged sport, or the youngest richest spoiled kid at school.  With titles like High School Musical, She’s All That, Gossip Girl, CW’s new series HellCats, 90210, Glee; it’s always been the cool, in thing to do, to fall mercilessly in love with someone popular.

The truth is, everyone who is popular ends up pathetic.  Not only that; everyone who wants or ends up dating them, are shallow.  Of course, there’s a narrow obvious disclaimer that there are almost some exceptions.  But, for the most part, it’s pretty much true.  Why would you buy a book from Oprah, what gives her the right to blindside you with her recommended merchandise?  Does Oprah know you? Has Oprah built a profile of attributes that she can compile to provide any effective description of you?  What makes Oprah so important that she should be your, your signature, your personal, life adviser?

The problem is not Oprah, Oprah is one person who likes things and tells people about those things.  She’s not the problem.  The problem is in the people who’ve consistently watched the show, they’ve let themselves become mindless drones set on finding direction.  A loss of direction and the tragedy that anyone would follow the very first person who can give them that direction, is none other than the equation for someone who is shallow.  Oprah is the prom queen.  She’s the mother bee.  And today, the modern day adult who buys her merchandise simply because it has an Oprah sticker on it, are the exact replica of the millions of kids who’ve long awaited and dreamed of the almost impossible day that they would hold hands with the quarterback of the football team.

Shallow people are worthless. Their plagiarized opinions, which ideally have originated down from the appealing thoughts of others, have practically nothing unique to say.  They’re a plague, an actual defined zombie experience.  And popular kids, unfortunately they’re no better.  If you’ve seen the television shows, the movies, the media, you’ll understand that these popular kids have to follow a certain way of life simply to appease everyone’s image of them and sustain their popularity.  No matter how much a popular kid loves modern contemporary dance, he or she can’t try it.  They can’t attempt it.  It’s too weird. You’ll see this a lot in Glee, jock wants everyone to think glee club is cool, it’s obviously not, so he ends up getting flack for it.  In this way, shallow people control the popular kids at school.  If for some reason the shallow kids lose interest, the popular kids fall off the map.

So who comes out on top?  The more important question, after high school: who ends up being the most socially effective person?  We’ve concluded that it wasn’t the many shallow people who’ve spent most of their teenage years worshiping a false idol.  And in some way, we can come to our own, personal, unique, and inventive, conclusions as to what happened to most popular kids from high school, who didn’t have football scholarships or something of the same significance.  Who then?  If both these parties have been lost in defeat, what person coming out of high school would be the most socially acceptable after graduation?  There are nerds that learn to become socially acceptable, it’s true.  There are goths that become socially acceptable, and there are people from less popular sports that become socially acceptable.  However, there is one candidate, who logically speaking, would tower over all others when it comes to social ability after high school.

Competition of Egos

Have you ever wonder why none of the big countries go to war with India?  I’m not talking about Imperialism; I’m talking about actual declarations of war.  (Don’t worry; this will tie in to the idea of popular kids and social hierarchy)  In World War 2, why did Germany go to war with most of Europe?  More interestingly, why did Germany ally themselves with Japan, one of the more technologically advanced countries in the universe?  Why didn’t Germany just take over small little countries, why was it bigger countries like France and the UK?  Political science teaches this as the competition of egos.  Germany, Adolf Hitler, they went to war with countries with advanced technology, strong military, supplies, etc.  What would Germany have accomplished going to war with India?  What’s in India?  There’s no military in India, their technology isn’t as advanced, and they don’t have very much to see in supplies.  There wouldn’t be a lot to profit by going to war with a country that doesn’t have these things.

It’s the same with the social structure of popularity.  You don’t see the popular football athletes going to war with the stoners.  Why bother? You don’t see the cheerleaders giving a slight glance at the nerds in the computer lab.  Even the slightly social student body, nobody really cares about them socially.  They do their job, nobody bothers them.  So who would the popular group of kids have to go to war with?  Who clashes with them?  Who irritates them?  Who is so powerful, that that person can steal the thoughts away from popular kids and make a dent in their social beings?  There has to be someone that has those properties.  More importantly, if this person can rise above the popular kids, separate themselves from the shallow kids, and in some way have the same social rapport as popular kids, logically, this person, would make it out of high school as the social pinnacle of an adult social hierarchy.  Who then, has the best chance of that?

. . . enter the anti-hero.

To be continued. . .

Us Men, We Talk Too Much.

Jonathan: You’re a hottie!

Emily: I don’t know about that.

Jonathan: It’s not for you to know.  It’s for us men to talk about secretly forever until you whither away unappreciated. 


Happy Thanksgiving!

Do You Want to Have Sex With Every Girl You’ve Ever Wanted? (with no attachments)

I dated a lot for the past 2 years. A lot. I really don’t want to go into detail. The boring, okay, somewhat exciting truth is that the whole time, I spent it looking for a girlfriend. I was looking for the right girl. A girl that didn’t leave me and a girl that I didn’t want to leave.

Having sex with multiple women seems cool if you’re a college idiot with hopes that your whole life could play out like some teenage American Pie sexual comedy. But it’s not. It’s really just stupid. It’s not real. It’s like collecting shiny rocks that aren’t worth anything.

For example: There’s no diamonds or rubies. You end up classifying every girl like every other rock you see in every other person’s front yard. There’s so many of them. You see them every day. Maybe this rock looks pointier, maybe this blonde has a skinnier face or a tighter butt. But they’re objects. You leave before you could get to know anything. There’s no emotion. It’s just a surface world where nothing’s real.

For some reason, a lot of people hate the idea of being vulnerable. It’s always power this, wanting that, paying the cheapest price to get to where you want. Those people make horrible novels. Terrible biographies. They go to China, Brazil, Italy, in search for destiny and they experience nothing. They go chasing after things because that’s all they know. They never know when to just stay. When to be happy. Or they somehow discover some obscure happiness after years of searching. However, they could’ve been happy this whole time just if they let themselves be happy.  Everything’s possible where you are!

Every girl that I was intimate with in my past I push back in my memory. And I’m pretty sure a lot of the women who broke me push me to the back of their minds too. However, the girl that you choose that wants to stay in bed for the next few months with you, grows with you, challenges you, makes you understand that you just don’t know everything.

Single and Awesome. It’s more like single and lost, looking for the next flavor, the next number, and the next shiny stone that would probably be worth a lot more to you if you just stopped looking for every other rock.

That’s my two cents. Do what makes you happy. . .