Tag Archives: sexual-health

9 Reasons Why You Should Meet The Girl Next To You

I still remember my girlfriend’s face when I told her she was adorable and I just had to come talk to her. Her face froze in a tone broken in between a lost for words and hope that words would exude. I remember how her head cocked out from her shoulders and how her breath was left vacant. She liked me. We meet people everyday, but we never meet them. The continuous stream of applicable opportunity to learn someone’s name or find out more about their story usually goes untouched, like books lost in libraries, unread and unopened. How is that possible? Everyone likes talking about themselves. Mostly everyone likes the faint touch of being interested in. Why? Why is it so hard? We meet people everyday, but there’s no reason why we shouldn’t get to know them, especially if she could be the girl of your dreams, much like Lenka’s was and still is for me.

Below is a list of 9 Reasons Why You Should Meet The Girl Next to You.

1. All girls like being talked to.

Remember in 40 year old virgin where Seth Rogen tells Steve Carrell to constantly ask the girl questions because women don’t want to talk about anything else but themselves. It’s funny because it’s almost always true. Actually it’s true for everyone. Everyone wants to believe that they have the most unbelievable dreams and aspirations. Everyone wants to think they have the cutest baby. Everyone wants to feel acclaimed and worshiped for their unrivaled thoughts and problem solving abilities. There’s an inspiring feeling people get when they get to share their lives with other people.

2. All girls want to feel sexy.

When I was still in middle school I remember Michelle Branch posing for Maxim magazine practically naked. Michelle Branch! The female guitarist who sang “All You Wanted.” At that time I felt there was something wrong with society, and it wasn’t just puberty. At that time, Christina Auguillera had the hit single “I am Beautiful” and, at the same time, had one of the sluttiest music videos of all time. I was debating the idea of beautiful. I remember what my brother said that evening when I pointed out the cover of Maxim with Michelle Branch on it. He told me, “Every woman wants to be wanted by every guy.” He said that they don’t necessarily want to date every man in the world, but they just want every guy to look twice when she walks by.

3. All girls want to feel beautiful.

There’s a difference between sexy and beautiful, not that a simple compliment can’t appease both of them. Unfortunately, every girl does want to feel adorned with their clothes on. They want to take pictures in Sunday dresses, twirling in flowered meadows, while the sunlight scatters across a silhouette of trees. They want to feel that their laughter is not only adored, but melodic, like a siren or some pre Civil War church choir. Every girl wants to know that they could hold someone’s attention for so long that they could find themselves falling apart in each others eyes. Most girls will never choose logic over romance.

4. Every girl wants to feel challenged.

Girls aren’t picking out men from a catalog, well, unless they’re giving credit to online dating websites, they are. However, unless they’re absolute nuts, women don’t want to have to meet a guy online over meeting them out in the open where fairy tales and most romantic movies find their beginnings. Some women can have any pick of men off the street, but that would just be cheap and senseless. Women want to feel like keeping someone is worth holding on to. They can’t just pull a guy off the street, because there’s no worth in that.

5. Every girl wants a hug.

Yep they do.  Women like a genuine sense of belonging where they could feel secure and comfortable. Everyone wants to feel wanted. Human touch is yummy.

6. Women don’t want the right guy.

Really? Seriously? WHO IS THAT GUY??? Robert Pattinson isn’t the right guy. Back in the 90’s it wasn’t Brad Pitt. A woman worth falling in love with doesn’t have a checkoff list hanging behind her pillow in hopes that the right guy will just pass her by on the street and be nothing but perfection yielding in agreement. They want a guy they could build something with. Someone who they could find more about themselves through. Love will always be about falling in love with what makes them different and imperfect.

7. Every girl wants to get naked. . . with the right guy.

Yep. Sex is good. It’s great. It’s fucking orgasmic. The only people that hate sex are virgins and people who are doing it with the wrong people. It’s unfortunate that there’s a broad saturation of creepy, horney, self centered men, and women, more often than not, feel like these are the only men out there. (Btw, I’m perfect.) If a girl’s reading this, don’t have sex with a creepy guy just to see where it goes, it’ll be a terrible experience.

8. Every girl doesn’t want to end up alone.

Even the biggest emo rebels who announce how much they are stricken to a loner lifestyle, those people still don’t want to be alone. They want to have coffee with some guy, to tell them the different aspects of the world that annoy and aggravate them, all subliminally trying to fight off the fact that they’re having coffee with a man and, in more or less endearing terms, like it.

Most women have been dreaming of the day they would marry, not the guy of their dreams, but the guy they can’t let go of.

9. Every girl likes the gesture.

Married, old, well not prepubescent because that’s just weird, but other than that, every girl likes to know the random guy walking on the street found her aesthetically pleasing. Making a woman smile is an incredible feeling.

A little disclaimer before I close this post.

Note: No girl wants to be creeped out.

Being able to not creep out a girl has a lot to do with finding a balance between being too aggressive and too shy. There’s a bunch of complex ways a man can open up a conversation with a women, you shouldn’t buy her a drink until she’s talking to you or else she’ll just use you for alcohol, you might want to compliment her nose, or you might just want to tell a girl you’ve genuinely been staring at for the past hour that she’s absolutely adorable. Who knows, maybe she’ll kiss you, and maybe you’ll find yourself falling love with her.


Are You Over Her?

I’ll come back to Part 2 of “The Popular Kid Was Never That Good at Talking to Women,” but I just really wanted to write this while it was still recent.

“Are you over her?” Lenka asked.

6 months before I met my girlfriend, I met a girl named Paige.  It was last winter break, almost a whole year ago.  The thought of her still haunts me.  She broke me.  She broke me in a way that I thought would never be possible.  Every so often I remember what it was like to be with her.  I remember thinking about her, and losing her.

There’s an underlying property to falling in love with someone.  In some way, you can’t be caught up with someone else, even if they have left forever.  They somehow can’t be renting out a soft spot in your mind.  I don’t think that’s true.  I might be wrong.  The thing is, I try to move forward.  I try to move forward with everything in my life.  Just forward, just a clean b-line straight ahead to the next destination as fast and as eye level as possible.  However, the truth is, a lot of the things in my past still gnaw off little bits of my hopes for a future.  It’s not just with women; it’s sort of like this with a lot of the things in my life.

With every woman I’ve met, I tend to keep a piece of them with me whether I like it or not.  It’s a little encasing that just opens up whenever it feels like it, or it’s somehow triggered by specifically chosen items of nostalgia.  The problem that I had was that I always found something I truly liked in most of the women I dated.  I ended up finding something unique in the women who’ve come through my life, and it’s hard to let those things go.  It’s taken me awhile to forget a lot about the first girl I felt an emotional depth with.  But, on some level, to be honest, I kind of wish I hadn’t fully forgotten.

Lenka asked me, how I could fall in love with someone when my heart is somewhere else.  How can I fall in love with her when I’m not over Paige?  How is it possible?  It seems like there’s something absolutely totally wrong with that.

“Why do you love me?” I asked Lenka.

In a cute, sort of embarrassed, type of way, she told me things like how I make her laugh and how I make her happy.  As I listened over the phone, she ended up scrolling down a long list of bullet points as to why she loved me.  I already knew what I was going to tell her by the time she finished.

“If I loved you for all of those same reasons, would you call that love?”