The following response was to a user on a forum who opened a thread asking for help on his relationship. He found out that his girlfriend was still in contact with a guy she kissed at a bar that she was attracted to a long time ago. Overall he felt intimidated by this other man. He believed this guy was better than him. He understood that he did have trust issues and that he did feel jealousy. He wanted to know how he could overcome these issues and become a better person, without having his girlfriend leave him.
From Jonathan Manor:
I’m going to hand the only information that you’ll probably need on the subject. You need to do two things.
- Stop moping. Just stop.
- There is no lesson plan, guide, self help book, or advice anyone will ever give you that will make you become a more passionate person. Nothing. Not the way of the superior man, not the power of now, not a 232 page book that tells you why you need direction. It’s all beta material. It’s all confirming the fact that you don’t know anything.
The fact is, you don’t need to know anything. You don’t. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to try hard, life isn’t about trying hard. It’s not. You need experience. And cutting yourself off from the world so you could mope is not experience, it’s stalemate.
People, not just women, people altogether fall in love with the person who has something going on for themselves. Ask yourself, “If you didn’t have a girlfriend, where would you be?”
In fact, right now, you’re acting as if you don’t have a girlfriend. As if she’s already left you. You’re moping, crying, and figured out you’ll stay pathetic (sorry dude it’s the truth) Even if that were true, even if you’re girlfriend did leave you, sooner or later you’re going to have to figure out what you want to do with your life. Are you going to pursue something? Are you going to stand for something? What are you going to do?
You could take the cheap way out which is, when she breaks up with you, jump over to another relationship. You know what that says about you, that you’re cheap. Anyone could have you. You have nothing going for your life, and you have nothing to show except for your dependence on the opposite sex.
Some women do this all the time. They jump from relationship to relationship because they can’t handle being alone. They can’t handle being themselves. So once they get back on the market, they post a for sale sign out in the open, and y’know what, guys will take it. Guys will run after it! Why, because it’s cheap.
You’re a cheap man. You’re dependent on this woman. Anyone will leave you. You have nothing going for you. You’re like the worn down sweater you get at Goodwill that nobody wants, hoping that someone will buy you.
That’s your advice. Do something with your life.