Advice Column: The Guy All Girls Want

From User:

The following response was to a user on a forum who opened a thread asking for help on his relationship.  He found out that his girlfriend was still in contact with a guy she kissed at a bar that she was attracted to a long time ago.  Overall he felt intimidated by this other man.  He believed this guy was better than him.  He understood that he did have trust issues and that he did feel jealousy.  He wanted to know how he could overcome these issues and become a better person, without having his girlfriend leave him.

From Jonathan Manor:

I’m going to hand the only information that you’ll probably need on the subject.  You need to do two things.

  1. Stop moping. Just stop.
  2. There is no lesson plan, guide, self help book, or advice anyone will ever give you that will make you become a more passionate person. Nothing. Not the way of the superior man, not the power of now, not a 232 page book that tells you why you need direction. It’s all beta material. It’s all confirming the fact that you don’t know anything.

The fact is, you don’t need to know anything. You don’t. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to try hard, life isn’t about trying hard. It’s not. You need experience. And cutting yourself off from the world so you could mope is not experience, it’s stalemate.

People, not just women, people altogether fall in love with the person who has something going on for themselves. Ask yourself, “If you didn’t have a girlfriend, where would you be?”

In fact, right now, you’re acting as if you don’t have a girlfriend. As if she’s already left you. You’re moping, crying, and figured out you’ll stay pathetic (sorry dude it’s the truth) Even if that were true, even if you’re girlfriend did leave you, sooner or later you’re going to have to figure out what you want to do with your life. Are you going to pursue something? Are you going to stand for something? What are you going to do?

You could take the cheap way out which is, when she breaks up with you, jump over to another relationship. You know what that says about you, that you’re cheap. Anyone could have you. You have nothing going for your life, and you have nothing to show except for your dependence on the opposite sex.

Some women do this all the time. They jump from relationship to relationship because they can’t handle being alone. They can’t handle being themselves. So once they get back on the market, they post a for sale sign out in the open, and y’know what, guys will take it. Guys will run after it! Why, because it’s cheap.

You’re a cheap man. You’re dependent on this woman. Anyone will leave you. You have nothing going for you. You’re like the worn down sweater you get at Goodwill that nobody wants, hoping that someone will buy you.

That’s your advice. Do something with your life.

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19 responses to “Advice Column: The Guy All Girls Want

  1. “Women do this all the time. Women jump from relationship to relationship because they can’t handle being alone. They can’t handle being themselves. So once they get back on the market, they post a for sale sign out in the open, and y’know what, guys will take it. Guys will run after it! Why, because it’s cheap.”

    I would feel better about this if you wrote “some” woman…. Not to be politically correct, but instead to offer your readers the whole truth. I find it insulting to be boxed in with 51 percent of the population on a quest to man-hop, or dude crawl. You’d be surprised with what I can handle. I agree that he should stop worrying about it but possibly his reasons should be more a long the lines of, I’m the one she wants, and it isn’t as though I myself am not attracted to others.

    • I second this. I spend more time out of relationships than in one because I prefer my own company, or that of my friends, for the majority of the time.

      People who have their own interests and hobbies outside of dating are inherently more interesting. They don’t just “keep busy” to distract themselves from being single; they ARE busy keeping up with the things they love to do.

      Be your own person, do your own thing, and the rest will fall into place.

      • Totally agree Gillian.

        People who are interesting attract the interest of others. In my opinion, it’s too hard to sit around and be boring and have nothing going on. It’s almost torture.

      • @Ohem

        Wouldn’t the point be to find someone with similar interests or someone who fascinates you enough that you’d rather be with them than alone?

    • Thanks Erin, you’re right about that. I’ll change it.

      Thanks!

    • RE: I find it insulting to be boxed in with 51 percent of the population on a quest to man-hop, or dude crawl.
      ___________________________

      Try 99.999 % of women and you’d have it right…

  2. By holding down the shift key and the underline/minus key at the same time ________
    Hold down the underline/minus key by itself and you get ———-

    • Thanks man, I actually already know how to do that one. I thought you were doing the one where it’s in the middle like — but instead without the line breaks.

  3. That is terrible advice.

    If you want killer advice on how to be a real man, read Yohami’s essay on tight game.

  4. Pingback: Be your own person, do your own thing, and the rest will fall into place. « Becoming Alpha

  5. @dream puppy – Yes and no. I’m not interested in spending my time and energy hunting for that person. There are many other things I would rather be doing because they’re more important to me.

    I do believe it’s important to share certain things with your partner, but I definitely need the time and space for the things that are mine and mine alone; I expect a future partner to be the same way. Being attached at the hip, even when we’re really into the same things, is incredibly stifling (been there, done that).

    • @ dream puppy: yeah, dream puppy is kind of correct. “After” you get into a relationship you should find yourself not wanting to be anywhere but with that person you’ve always wanted.

      And @Ohem, she’s also correct. People do need their space to do other things and think about things. Couples who work together and then come home together, it just seems like a ticking time bomb.

  6. I used to be affected. By many things.

    Non-neediness is powerful. I am always in a tranquil state. Friends have started drama and yelled at me, but I knew they were stressed. I felt only calm inside.

    The alpha man’s presence is intoxicating. The only addiction I have left, the only need, is my own unshaken stability.

    • Very true.

      I just came back from work, and my coworkers were complaining about their personal life. I would’ve pushed myself in and put forward my beliefs and what I think, but I’m not like that. I’m not that beta to care. I understand that she just wanted to vent out her problems, and that she didn’t need someone to lecture her about moral obligations. She just needed people to listen. The guy who feels like every person with problems is their opportune time to shine, is a very frustrated loser kid. And I’m sorry, but I’m busy being happy.

      Nice to meet you Wesno, thanks for stopping by my blog.

      • Hey, thanks for the Stumble, man. Amazing how fast that works, it’s given me more hits than any other sources, combined.

        I added a Blogroll section on the right, and you’re the gracing initiate. I plan on posting in-field commented footage Krauser-style, so good stuff is ahead.

      • Cool! Thanks, I’m looking forward to this good stuff you speak of.

  7. Pingback: Stop Doing What Makes You Great | THE TITAN PROJECT

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